Category Archives: Naturally Happy

Ah Spring…I Can Dream About You… If I Can’t Behold You Tonight

6 Replies

One more article, newscast, blog post or Facebook comment complaining about snow or record cold and you’ll barf, right?  So, I will spare you.  (You’re welcome!)  Let us focus on what we do want, Spring!

Why do I want Spring?  Well, aside from the warmer weather, of course, FLOWERS!  I’m jonesing to get my hands in the dirt, man! So, in the meantime,  I dream and plan…a little, but mostly dream.  One choice I have made this year is to direct sow seeds for most of my flowers.  I am also using heirloom seeds.  (Ooooh, two decisions, …hmmm, maybe I am a planner?)

Direct sowing requires faith.  It’s so much easier to go to the nursery  and pluck the healthiest looking plants already in bloom.  So, why bother growing from seed?  You have  to wait weeks for anything to happen.  Then when the seedlings come up; It can be hard to tell at first if it is your flower or a weed.

Direct sowing does have a number of advantages.  Variety is a big one.  You can order way more varieties of a flower if you go for seeds , rather than live plants.  The company I ordered from had 22 different morning glories alone.  Wouldn’t it be cool to have flowers in your garden that are different than same ones you see at every other house on  the block?  Another plus is you know where, how and what your plants were grown in.  You can avoid gmos, pesticides and other chemicals if you wish. Direct sowing is also kinder to the earth because there are no plastic cel paks or pots.  One paper envelope of seeds has the potential to provide 50-250 plants. And this also means it’s A LOT cheaper!

Most importantly, you get to see your little seed turn into a beautiful flower.  It’s a very satisfying reminder in a world of instant gratification that life can be astonishingly beautiful when you put time, nurturing and love into it.

Here’s what I am planting this year.  I picked them all because they are known to do well when sown directly into the ground in Spring.  (No messing with starting seeds indoors for this gal!)

  1. Love-In-A-Mist
  2. Sweet Pea Flora Norton
  3. Sweet Peas Old Spice
  4. Sweet Pea Painted Lady
  5. Morning Glory Sunrise Serenade
  6. Morning Glory Rose Feather
  7. Morning Glory Heavenly Blue
  8. Moon Flower
  9. Zinnia Royal Purple
  10. Bonbon Zinnia
  11. Zinnia Miss Willmont
  12. Pansy Orange Sun
  13. Pansy Swiss Giants
  14. Pansy Historic Florist Mix
  15. Nasturtium Dwarf Jewel Mix
  16. English Daisy Rose Ball
  17. Marigold Petite Mix
  18. Marigold Brigade Mix
  19. Poppy Purple Peony
  20. Poppy Ballerina Double Mix
  21. Cosmos Sensation Mix
  22. Calendula Orange King
  23. Bachelor’s Button Frosted Queen Mix
  24. Bachelor’s Button Blue Boy
  25. Zinnia Button Box
  26. And Several different Hollyhocks (I ordered them separately.  They haven’t arrived yet.)

Have you ever direct sown seeds?  I would love to hear from you.

Love and Blessings to All,

Cynthia

 

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

justdragonfly

 

 

Naturally Kind: Baby, it’s cold outside!

Leave a reply

I was at the supermarket the other day when I spied what looked like a big stack of small flat cages next to another big stack of what looked like Rice Krispies’ treats.  Naturally curious, I investigated.  The “Rice Krispies’ treats” were actually suet,  a block composed of fat, berries and seeds used to feed birds.  The little “cage” was a feeder to hold the suet.

When I noticed that the Audobon Society was distributing the feeders, I instantly thought of my grandmother.  She had a thing for birds. Nana wasn’t a birder per se, she never traversed the great outdoors counting yellow bellied sapsuckers, but she did keep two bird feeders well-stocked.  She kept a pair of binoculars on her tv.  So, whenever her little feathered guests stopped in for a snack, she could check them out in greater detail.

Given how cold the weather has been,  I thought the birds might need a little help.  So, I bought the suet and its’ holder.  It was only a few dollars for both.    I think Nana would approve.

Love and Blessings to All,

Cynthia

 

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

justdragonfly

 

Balancing Through the Holidays: Am I Grinch?

2 Replies

How we doing?  Are all you turkey-eaters wandering around Black Friday-Shop Small Saturday-and whatever marketers have deemed today is-sales in a tryptophan haze?  Did ya drink, eat and party a little too much this week?  Exercise a little too little? Okay, take three nice, slow, easy breathes.  Pour yourself a big glass of water, squeeze a little lemon in it (if you have it… ) and read on.

Every year from Thanksgiving to New Year’s Eve, I kind of feel like I am holding my breath.  Then on New Year’s Day, I exhale with relief that it is all over.  I know there are people that wait all year long for just this time and revel in it (probably in the same way I feel about late Spring and Summer) but I imagine that I am not alone in finding all the trappings, over-indulgence and pressure of the Season a bit OVERWHELMING (if I could make that word blink like a neon sign I would.)

I gave away my Christmas decorations in 2010 and opted for just a fresh wreath on my front door ever since.  I lived alone and didn’t celebrate the holidays at home.  So what was I buying a tree and hanging pine boughs and lights every year for?  My mom thinks it makes me a bit of a Grinch but it’s been one of my better decisions.  We are all bombarded with holiday images and music everywhere we go from now until New Year’s.  For me, it was really nice to pass that wreath and be at home where I can control the stimuli I am influenced by.

It is really easy to get knocked off balance by brilliant marketers who want us to consume more, our own sense of guilt and obligation to make sure other people are happy and just the sheer volume of temptation that is available this time of year.  It is REALLY easy to overdo everything: spending, eating and drinking…

So, this is my suggestion:  Take a pause.  Before buying holiday gifts, pause and remind yourself what you can afford to spend.  Before grabbing that decadent, beautiful oh-so-tempting red velvet cupcake, pause and say to yourself, “I am going to enjoy this because I make healthy choices at least 80% of the time and I exercise regularly.” (If you don’t eat healthfully and exercise regularly, pause and ask yourself, “when I am I going to determine that I am worthy of being healthy and feeling good?”)  Before you grab that cocktail, pause and remind yourself what your limit is for the evening and determine to drink a full glass of water in between each drink.

Since we’re doing all this pausin’, the end of the year is a really good time to pause and reflect back on everything that has happened over the last eleven months and determine what we are grateful for.  And really isn’t that Thanksgiving is all about?

By the way, I am very grateful for all the people who take time to read my blog.  Thank you so much!  I also really appreciate the comments, wisdom and kind words readers have shared.  You guys rock!

Love and Blessings to All,

Cynthia

 

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

justdragonfly

Natural Gifts: Do You Know What Yours Are? What Would You Like To Be Doing?

Leave a reply

My thriftiness was the inspiration that got me started making jewelry 13 years ago.  I was too cheap to pay $10 bucks for a bead change on my belly ring (Nope, I don’t have one anymore) at the tattoo place, when I could get a whole package for less than half that.  The only dilemma was what was I going to do with the rest of the beads?

I like to learn new things and since they string beads at kids’ summer camp, I figured making jewelry wasn’t beyond me.  So, I bought my first pair of pliers, some crimps, wire and catches and off I went.  First, I made an anklet, then earrings, then a necklace and bracelet.  I was hooked.  I learned how to bend wire (LOOOOVE bending wire and banging it into designs.) Very quickly, I outgrew the jewelry aisle at the craft store and began going to bead shops, mail order companies, metal companies and lapidaries for semi-precious stones and silver.  I made gifts for friends and eventually starting selling my one-of-a-kind pieces in 2006 under the name Chickyrhumba (a nickname my mom had for me when I was little.)

I closed the business in 2012 but I still enjoy making jewelry and I am proud of the work that I did.  The funny part is I am not sure I would have ever pursued it directly if it hadn’t been for my now defunct belly ring.  Honestly, I am just like that.  Life tends to have to inspire me to try new things indirectly or I need to ease into them somehow…slowly, sometimes VERY slowly.  I practiced yoga for several months on my own before I ever went to a class, just so I wouldn’t feel like a complete spaz doing it in public for the first time.

I suspect I am not alone when it comes to being a bit fearful about trying new things, even things I suspect I would enjoy.  Many of us are probably a bit nervous about looking foolish or fear that we may not be good at the chosen activity we admire or maybe, we don’t even know why we don’t make the effort.   Perhaps, there has just been an underlying current of subliminal messages in our minds telling us things like, “I don’t come from artistic people,” or “I have never been good at any sports.”  So, we stay stuck in our little safe box.

The cool thing is that if you manage to reach beyond your comfort zone, you just might amaze yourself with what you accomplish.  There are so many quotes about going beyond your comfort zone, it’s hard to know which came first.  I like Robert Allen’s “Everything you want is just outside your comfort zone.”  (It just sounds so promising!)  More importantly, it’s a good way to take care of yourself.  You may find a new vocation that makes you successful beyond your wildest dreams or you may just find something you really enjoy doing.  Either way, it’s time well spent!

So, what have you always wanted to learn how to do that you have been putting off?  I would love to hear from you.

Love and Blessings to All,

Cynthia

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

justdragonfly

A Year after Super Storm Sandy: Challenges, Tumbles and Surviving It All with Gratitude!

6 Replies

A year ago when all the hubbub started about Hurricane Sandy, like so many people in the area where I lived on the water in Amity Harbor, I didn’t take it very seriously.  Although, I lived on a canal, the warnings that were being issued seemed extreme. I had stayed home through Hurricane Irene the year before without the water even coming up my back steps.  So, in my mind, Sandy would probably only be slightly worse.

Chauncy and I hunkered down on October 29, 2012 with every intention of waiting it out.  And for most of the day, it appeared I had taken the right course.  Then around 7pm, things changed radically.  I waded through knee high water to move my car to higher ground.  Forty minutes later when I finally left with my dog and one bag that same water was up to my thighs and had begun pouring into my home from every conceivable point of entry including the sinks and toilet.

I was oddly pretty calm for someone driving around in the midst of a hurricane.  I picked up a stranded driver who was soaked to bone.  He warned me not to go west on Merrick Road because that was where his truck got stranded.  I deposited him at the pizza place where the emergency workers were staying.  I couldn’t stay there with Chauncy.  So, I had to move on.  (There are very few safe public places during catastrophes on Long Island for people with dogs.)

Chauncy was freaking out as we weaved around fallen trees on Sunrise Highway.  He kept trying to crawl inside me practically.  So, I eventually threw an entire bag of treats on the passenger seat to distract him.  First, we tried going west to my folks, and made it about 10 miles before the road was blocked off.  So, I turned around drove further East than where I started and ended up at a friend’s house in Bayshore.  Thankfully, her family was willing to take us both in.

The next day I went to my folks’ house and have been here since.  I thought by now I would be in my new apartment with Hurricane Sandy fading into an increasingly distant memory but a short five months later, I experienced an event that made Super Storm Sandy feel like a mere inconvenience.  On March 2nd, the day after I launched this blog, I fell down the stairs at the Madison Square Garden Entrance to Penn Station. I broke my upper jaw, lost a front tooth, damaged seven more top front teeth, ripped my upper lip completely through, sprained my wrist and broke my nose.

Given the opportunity to take that moment back and hold the handrail, I most certainly would take the mulligan.  I won’t have anything close to my smile back before 2015 (…and we are talking closer to 2016.)  However, several people have told me I would find the blessings in these events and they were right.  When something like this happens, at first you just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.  You wonder what you might have done to deserve such a shitty, fucking thing to happen to you … and in my case two shitty things in row.  You wonder, “is this going to be what breaks me?”  Then a little voice deep inside answers very confidently, “no, it’s going to make you stronger than you have ever been.”  Then you pick your head up and start noticing all the things you have to be grateful for like your family, your friends, your dog, the perfect strangers (who turned out to be paramedics) who stopped to help when you fell, all the flowers, cards, prayers, well wishes and good, competent doctors to help put you back together.  There is so much I have to be grateful for, I couldn’t possibly fit it all into this one blog post.  That is how fortunate I am!

There is one other thing I want to share with you and then I’ll wrap it up!  That is the lesson.  The most profound shift I have experienced since all of this happened is what I thought mattered before… most of it… doesn’t matter at all.  I used to sweat everything: my boss yelling at me, getting a ticket, a friend being distant, paying bills… any little negative thing could tip my mood.  The worse thing on my mind before I fell was that my car had a leaky head gasket.  It seems so silly now ruminating about how I was going to find a new apartment, furnish it and get a new car at the same time.  I thought THAT was something to feel sorry for myself about.  Now, I am looking at a $30K-$40K dental reconstruction.  It’s okay though because getting my smile back to me is priceless!

Love and blessings to all.

Cynthia

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

justdragonfly

Being (a) Patient: A Moment of Gratitude

6 Replies

When you have been through as many dental consults as I have (six periodontal, four prosthodontic and two orthodontic) and several months of procedures with an oral surgeon, you can get pretty tired of going to dentists’ offices, especially when the actual dental reconstruction work hasn’t started yet.  It begins to feel endless before you even begin.  Then the blessing comes.

I had to have my broken bicuspid bonded in order to be able to have a brace put on it.  The entire front was missing. I am going to be in braces for over a year. So my prostho didn’t want to put a temporary crown on it for that long.  When he said he was going to bond it, I figured it would like a patch, similar to the blob of bonding material my oral surgeon put behind another tooth to save it.

So, you can imagine my surprise when he molded it to look like an actual tooth…  not just a tooth either, MY TOOTH.  I could barely talk when his assistant put the before and after photo up on the monitor. It looked like it had never been broken… like nothing at all had happened to it.  It looked perfect!

I know it’s just one tooth and a temporary solution at that.  I still have a looooooong way to go in this dental reconstruction but it’s hard to express how it good it felt to have that first little step be so beautiful!  I felt a little bit more like myself than I have in a long time.  Even with my appliance in, I felt uncomfortable smiling wide because I knew my broken tooth would still show.  Thursday night, I wore the widest, brightest (had a cleaning too) smile that I have had in almost six months when I showed his work to my family.

I knew the prosthodontist I had chosen was an artist.  …I can always spot one a mile away.  I wasn’t worried about whether he could do the work but it is awfully nice to see proof that I was right in my own mouth!

What was your big moment of gratitude this week?

Love and blessings to all.

Cynthia

 

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

justdragonfly

Letting Go: Sorting Through My STUFF

4 Replies

I just watched the last piece of my Nana’s cherry wood set get hauled away.  I dragged that set with me from home to home for the last fourteen years and today, I let it go to an appreciative young man who was probably furnishing his first apartment.

I moved out of my parents’ house over 19 years ago.  Hurricane Sandy brought me back here temporarily.  My dental reconstruction is keeping me here a while longer.  Deciding it was better to have funds available to pay my various dentists than for storage fees, I cleared out my POD this weekend.

I am a fiercely independent person.  I do not enjoy asking for help.  However, this situation has required that I learn how to accept it and I am definitely grateful for the help that has been extended to me by friends and family.  I’d be lying if I said I was excited about the idea of sorting through all my crap and deciding what stays and what goes.  It’s a perfect beach weekend and that is where I would rather be.

Rather than dwell on the loss of my independence (and a good beach weekend) though; I’ve decided to view this as an opportunity to let go of what I don’t need and welcome a fresh start.  While I was looking through one box, I found a baseball card album filled with Steve Sax cards.  My boyfriend in college gave it to me as a birthday present one year.  I had remarked that Steve Sax had a cute tush and he thought it would be funny to give me all his cards.  It was funny but not funny enough to keep toting around decades after we broke up; especially when I never really wanted it in the first place.

The baseball card album was one of his better gifts too.  One year he gave me a toolbox filled with tools.  I didn’t want that either.  The nicest things one of my friends at the time said about it was “tell him next year, you want a jewelry box and to fill that up too.”  The rising chorus from my friends was “dump him” and eventually I did.  So, why do I still have this little album all these years later?  Who the fuck knows… I am a sentimental person but I think this is a good time to reevaluate what I want to keep in my life and what NEEDS to go.

I also have this sense that letting go of unnecessary stuff will make room for new and better things, opportunities and experiences in my life.  I think I will do a mental overhaul while I am at it and let go of accumulated fears, pains, frustrations and insecurities… I’m sure I have a book on that in one of these damn boxes…

What do you need to let go of?  Have you had a positive experience after letting go of items you no longer needed?  I would love to hear from you!

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

Pajama Day

2 Replies

This may be the word’s shortest blog post…

The reason why is because I need a pajama day.  Pajama Day is when you stay in your pajamas (and maybe even in bed) all day not because you’re sick… just spent.  I think everyone feels this way sometimes but whether they acknowledge it is a different story.

When you are a creative person (writer, artist, musician… whatever) it becomes obvious pretty quickly when you have reached this state.  The ideas may be there swirling around but the act of actually bringing them to fruition seems suddenly daunting and impossible.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is just stop.  Animals do this naturally.  When Chauncy and I get home from a walk, he’ll plop down right in front of the front door for as long as he needs to.  He doesn’t worry about getting anything done …or even being in the way.  He just does what he needs to do in that moment, nothing.

Next time you feel frenzied, just stop.  Give yourself permission to do nothing.  It doesn’t have to be for a whole day.  Try an hour or even five minutes… See what happens.  You may be pleasantly surprised by what happens next…

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page

justdragonfly

Naturally Beautiful: What does it mean?

16 Replies

This one is not so easy for me…

A week or so ago a video of Dustin Hoffmann went viral in which he described his experience of being perceived as a woman while prepping for his role in Tootsie.  It was very moving because he broke down when he realized that he couldn’t look as beautiful as he wanted to.  He realized that, as a woman, he would be passed over based on his appearance, despite being an interesting and worthwhile person in so many ways.  He realized that he, himself, had done that to many women who did not meet his physical requirements of beauty.

I found this particularly moving because I‘ve been struggling somewhat with my appearance since my top eight front teeth were damaged in March.  A friend of mine inquired about my “love life” recently, I sort of snorted and replied, “Hahahhaha, it would take a very special or very un-special man to look past my banged up grill.”

The funny part about all this is I am not a fussy gal.  Before this happened, you were just as likely to see me in sweats and no make-up, as you were to see me done up.  I’ve never been a perfect specimen but I was pretty and had learned over the years that I cleaned up well when I wanted to.  I just didn’t worry about it.  Now I do.  I am much more careful about putting myself together because I don’t feel like myself without my smile.  I wear a decent appliance that covers my missing front tooth but when I start to smile, I can feel my top lip getting close to the top edge of the device and I quickly yank it back down.  It really sucks being this self-conscious all the time.  And before I had the appliance, I did notice a difference in the way people reacted toward me.

I do know one special guy who never makes me feel self-conscious about the way I look, my dad.  A few weeks ago, he had to have a tooth pulled.  My dad is a handsome guy but he had a completely different attitude about it.  He made pirate noises and seemed to get a kick out of flashing his space at my mother.  He started referring to himself as Big Gap and me as Little Gap.  “You call that a gap, Cindy.  That’s not a gap.  This is a real gap!” He even convinced me to take this photo.  No small feat.  It is the first one since I fell.

Big Gap and Little Gap

I am not sure I can be as laid-back about my damaged teeth as Dad is, but this dental reconstruction is going to be a long haul and the final result is not guaranteed.  Soon I will have to wear braces for the first time in my life.  So, I realize it would be a good idea to figure how to handle the situation with grace and humor.  Maybe that is the most natural beauty you can acquire.  I haven’t got it all figured out yet but I am so grateful that I have Dad to light the way for me.

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

Please follow me on Twitter.   Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.

justdragonfly

Exercise: Do I really need to set a freakin’ goal?

4 Replies

I have a strange relationship with exercise.  I love it while I am doing it and it does me a lot of good physically, mentally and emotionally but I have struggled with a self-defeating habit of trying to get out of it.

Honestly, I don’t believe it is anything deeper than the fact that the free spirit inside me never wants to live the same day twice.  I already devote 40+ hours a week to working for someone else, at least 12 hours a week commuting to work for someone else, then there is cleaning and laundry, studying… having to be disciplined about one more thing can make ya want to run off and live in the woods Thoreau-style.  Except I want to stay fit physically, mentally and emotionally.  So, I am committed now to a daily yoga practice and walking the dogs most days (you know, weather permitting.)

I have been doing pretty well and have been pleased with the results thus far.  Then while I was the yoga mat recently, I got an idea!  I have a vision board hanging above the TV. So when I need to focus on something to keep my balance while practicing, I stare at something on my board.  I saw a photo of a woman who looks a bit like me in ustrasana or full camel pose.  I put it on my board to represent flexibility in general, not just in yoga or my physical body.  I found myself thinking that it might be fun to see if I could do it before the end of the year.

It is such a beautiful pose because it corrects most people’s natural (or unnatural depending on your perspective) tendency to curl into themselves in a protective or childlike way.  I tend to slouch with rigid, rounded shoulders.  I have noticed that the tightness in my neck, back and shoulders has been turning into creaks and crackles.  I want to avoid any kind of chronic backache or arthritis and working towards this pose just might be the ticket.

So, we’ll see how it goes.  It does feel more freeing to know I am working toward something that is opening me up and healing my body, mind and spirit rather than just dogmatically going through a routine.  Maybe I will post a photo of myself in this pose before the end of the year.

How do you stay motivated to exercise?  Please leave a comment or drop me a note.  I would love to hear from you.

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

Please follow me on Twitter.  Also, please LIKE my Facebook Page.