Good Morning! I invite my yoga students to set an intention for their practice. Maybe it’s a short phrase like “I am well.” Perhaps, it’s a single word such as calm. Even if you’re not a yogi, you can set an intention for your day. It’s like setting a course for the day and consciously deciding what foot you want to start the day on..
Remember to make time for self-care today. You’re very important!
I lost one of my heroes yesterday- the first one I ever met. My dad, Hank Lenz, was a great example of how heroes come in many forms.
Dad was not a “no pain, no gain” kind of guy. He liked his indulgences and until recently had the belly to prove it. I remember years ago when we were both working in the City, he stopped off for a beer and sausage before joining me for a yoga class. I think the grease and alcohol may have only improved his flexibility because much to my chagrin at the time, he got through the class just fine!
Dad did things his own way and didn’t really care what anyone else thought about it. He would never presume to tell anyone what they should do either. Even though he didn’t believe in telling me what to do, he was there for me a lot with a steadying hand when I stumbled or he found a way of letting me know he “got me” when it seemed like no one else did.
Dad was the one who took me to JC Penneys after church one Sunday when I was 12 to buy my first cosmetics. I still have that little Francis Denney eye shadow duo compact in my treasure box. Dad was the one who took me into the City to have my headshots done when I was convinced in high school I wanted to be an actress. He took me to lunch afterwards. We repeated the process including one of my heroines, Nana-his mother, when it was time to pick my photos up. The three of us went to Fraunces Tavern for a special dining experience I remember very fondly.
One of our favorite places to go was the NY Renaissance Faire in Tuxedo, NY. We started going in the early 1980s and continued off and on until 2019. Sometimes other family members would join us but Dad and I were the ones who kept going back because we loved it there. In fact, Dad noted the positive influence it had on his moody daydreamer of a daughter and signed us both up for the Society of Creative Anachronisms for a couple of years. So, we could attend other medieval and historical events together.
Dad never tried to change me or shame me for any of my missteps or wrong turns throughout my life. He knew I have always marched to the beat of my own drummer and held space for me to do that. Anytime, I have been tempted to say things should be different and find blame for why they aren’t, Dad would say, “Why are you should-ing yourself? “Should” is not helpful. You get that from your mother.”
I barely can believe he passed. It doesn’t seem real. The pain leaks in when I have to say the words as we make calls to let people know but my brain finds ways to protect me and keep it at distance. I am so grateful to have spent a lot of time with Dad over the years. Even though dementia was stealing him away from us for many days over these last few years, he would surface at times. I seized those lucid moments and told him how much I loved him and how grateful I was that he was my Dad and how being who he was, allowed me the opportunity to be who I am. There are a million other things I could write about him. He was so intelligent, well-read, funny, handsome and the list goes on. Most of all though, he was an original. A one and only! There will never be another Hank Lenz! I am so glad and thankful he was my dad.
My dream finally came true last year! I became a yoga teacher. It took over two decades and very nearly stayed a dream forever.
I was not much of an athlete growing up. Other than running very fast for very short distances, I was rubbish at sports. I was always the last kid left when teams were picked in gym class. And I had two left feet on the dance floor. Despite what I thought was an obvious lack of coordination, I’ve always been drawn to yoga. So, in 2001, I began to learn this beautiful ancient practice, first starting with VHS tapes then working my way up to live classes. I loved it and I could do it… and I loved that I could do it! I also loved that the benefits of yoga went way beyond just physical exercise. Yoga is deeply healing and slowly wounds that I carried inside for years began to get better.
I knew I wanted to teach yoga but I figured that if it was meant to be that I would be invited to enroll into a Yoga Teacher Training program. I longed for one of my teachers to say, “Cynthia, have you thought about teaching yoga? You really should consider it.” That never happened. I just figured I wasn’t charismatic enough. I didn’t have what it takes.
20+ years went by. I continued to practice yoga while working at jobs that left me miserable, frustrated and unsure of what my real purpose in life was. Then one day while I was at a yoga class, lying on my belly in Cobra Pose, awaiting the teacher’s next cue, I thought, “I want to do this! Why can’t I teach? I can do this! I am going to do this!” The very next day I enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training Program before I could talk myself out of it. I still didn’t know if I had what it took but I was determined to find out!
Throughout the training, I continued to doubt myself. When it was my turn to teach a posture, I would sometimes freeze and my mind would go blank even though I practiced the pose hundreds of times before. I found myself wishing the floor would open and swallow me whole. My anxiety got so bad three quarters of the way through the training that I emailed one of my favorite teachers and explained that I was struggling. I knew I would I would finish the program but I feared I still wouldn’t be hire-able as teacher. She wrote me back quickly that she knew I was going to be a great yoga teacher and asked me to teach a portion of her own class that weekend. When someone you respect believes in you, it can make it easier to start believing in yourself. Within two days, I went from being convinced that I didn’t have what it takes to be a yoga teacher to teaching a class with 50 people in it.
That was the turning point for me. I knew after that, I could do it and I haven’t looked back since. I graduated from the program and have since earned additional certifications. I now teach multiple classes. I love holding space for people while they learn how to build their practice. And I love seeing them experience yoga’s benefits for the body, mind and spirit.
What’s your dream? Are you waiting for someone else’s blessing before you act on it? I got that backwards for a very long time. You need to take action first then the blessings will follow. Namaste!
Oh man, this post is overdue! I completed this challenge almost a year ago. I am just going to tell you upfront: It was one of the best things I have ever done.
Beyond the physical benefits I described in my previous post, including better sleep, better skin, better belly, feeling better, etc., I finally did something for myself that I never found the courage to do before- I enrolled in and completed a Yoga Teacher Training Program. Since then, I have taught well over a hundred yoga classes and LOVE it! It’s truly a dream come true. I think that’s the biggest difference doing this no alcohol challenge made for me- instead of just dreaming, I started doing. I also had the energy needed to keep going the whole time.
What’s the answer to the burning question- did I keep going with the challenge after the six months? I did not. A few weeks after the challenge ended, I had a cocktail at my parents’ anniversary party. I also drink wine weekly. I am a lot more mindful now about drinking it these days. I am aware that when I have it- even one glass- I am not at my best the next day. So, why have it then? Well, it’s something I enjoy, not unlike a lovely dessert. While I know that a good chocolate chip is not the healthiest choice either, I don’t want to abstain from them for the rest of my life. As long as I don’t overindulge in wine (or cookies) then I am comfortable with enjoying them responsibly.
I have to admit though, I am curious what it might be like to do a No Alcohol Challenge for a whole year. So, there may be a post about that in the future.
I mentioned in my last post My Dry August that since my month-long no alcohol challenge yielded so many benefits that I decided to do 100 days to see what else might happen. I can tell you, it was mostly more of the same that I already shared but with one big difference!
During those 100 Days last Fall, I decided to make my decades-long dream of becoming a yoga instructor a reality. I knew I wanted to be a yoga teacher shortly after I began practicing back in 2000 but I wasn’t sure if I had what it takes. The fact that I was 23 years older than when I started didn’t help either. You may be wondering what being on a break from alcohol had to do with my decision to finally go for my dream.
It comes down to this-I believe that my nightly glass of wine was making it easier to NOT do things I knew I wanted to do. There are a number of reasons why but I think the most important is that alcohol helps us stay comfortably in our comfort zone. Life can be really hard. Taking on new challenges doesn’t make it any easier, at least not in the short term.
It’s so much simpler and more comfortable to veg out in front of the TV at the end of the day than it is to pursue something meaningful. Alcohol, even one glass, helped me to set aside the nagging feeling that I could be doing something better and with purpose. I think it makes it easy to choose to do nothing.
After being alcohol-free for a month, I was in a yoga class and thought to myself, “I could do this. I want to do this! I am going to do this!” The very next day I signed up for a yoga teacher training program before I could talk myself out of it. Obviously, not drinking alcohol wasn’t the only reason I finally went for it but it helped. For one thing, I wouldn’t have been in the yoga class where I had the epiphany if I had wine with dinner that night. I also felt better than I had in a long time. I found the courage to follow through and I don’t believe I would have if I had been indulging in my nightly cup of comfort.
You may be wondering if I started drinking again after I completed the 100 Day Challenge. I did during the holidays and I enjoyed it but not as much as I used to. So, I decided to stop again on January 1st for six months to see what happened. I have since completed my Yoga Teacher Training Program and will begin teaching my own weekly class next month. I am also working on some other projects that I’m excited about.
Will I continue the challenge when the six months are up? I don’t know yet. It might be interesting to continue until my birthday or even go the whole year and compare it to last year. Stay tuned!