Remember to make time for self-care today. You’re very important!
Remember to make time for self-care today. You’re very important!
My dream finally came true last year! I became a yoga teacher. It took over two decades and very nearly stayed a dream forever.
I was not much of an athlete growing up. Other than running very fast for very short distances, I was rubbish at sports. I was always the last kid left when teams were picked in gym class. And I had two left feet on the dance floor. Despite what I thought was an obvious lack of coordination, I’ve always been drawn to yoga. So, in 2001, I began to learn this beautiful ancient practice, first starting with VHS tapes then working my way up to live classes. I loved it and I could do it… and I loved that I could do it! I also loved that the benefits of yoga went way beyond just physical exercise. Yoga is deeply healing and slowly wounds that I carried inside for years began to get better.
I knew I wanted to teach yoga but I figured that if it was meant to be that I would be invited to enroll into a Yoga Teacher Training program. I longed for one of my teachers to say, “Cynthia, have you thought about teaching yoga? You really should consider it.” That never happened. I just figured I wasn’t charismatic enough. I didn’t have what it takes.
20+ years went by. I continued to practice yoga while working at jobs that left me miserable, frustrated and unsure of what my real purpose in life was. Then one day while I was at a yoga class, lying on my belly in Cobra Pose, awaiting the teacher’s next cue, I thought, “I want to do this! Why can’t I teach? I can do this! I am going to do this!” The very next day I enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training Program before I could talk myself out of it. I still didn’t know if I had what it took but I was determined to find out!
Throughout the training, I continued to doubt myself. When it was my turn to teach a posture, I would sometimes freeze and my mind would go blank even though I practiced the pose hundreds of times before. I found myself wishing the floor would open and swallow me whole. My anxiety got so bad three quarters of the way through the training that I emailed one of my favorite teachers and explained that I was struggling. I knew I would I would finish the program but I feared I still wouldn’t be hire-able as teacher. She wrote me back quickly that she knew I was going to be a great yoga teacher and asked me to teach a portion of her own class that weekend. When someone you respect believes in you, it can make it easier to start believing in yourself. Within two days, I went from being convinced that I didn’t have what it takes to be a yoga teacher to teaching a class with 50 people in it.
That was the turning point for me. I knew after that, I could do it and I haven’t looked back since. I graduated from the program and have since earned additional certifications. I now teach multiple classes. I love holding space for people while they learn how to build their practice. And I love seeing them experience yoga’s benefits for the body, mind and spirit.
What’s your dream? Are you waiting for someone else’s blessing before you act on it? I got that backwards for a very long time. You need to take action first then the blessings will follow. Namaste!
I mentioned in my last post My Dry August that since my month-long no alcohol challenge yielded so many benefits that I decided to do 100 days to see what else might happen. I can tell you, it was mostly more of the same that I already shared but with one big difference!
During those 100 Days last Fall, I decided to make my decades-long dream of becoming a yoga instructor a reality. I knew I wanted to be a yoga teacher shortly after I began practicing back in 2000 but I wasn’t sure if I had what it takes. The fact that I was 23 years older than when I started didn’t help either. You may be wondering what being on a break from alcohol had to do with my decision to finally go for my dream.
It comes down to this-I believe that my nightly glass of wine was making it easier to NOT do things I knew I wanted to do. There are a number of reasons why but I think the most important is that alcohol helps us stay comfortably in our comfort zone. Life can be really hard. Taking on new challenges doesn’t make it any easier, at least not in the short term.
It’s so much simpler and more comfortable to veg out in front of the TV at the end of the day than it is to pursue something meaningful. Alcohol, even one glass, helped me to set aside the nagging feeling that I could be doing something better and with purpose. I think it makes it easy to choose to do nothing.
After being alcohol-free for a month, I was in a yoga class and thought to myself, “I could do this. I want to do this! I am going to do this!” The very next day I signed up for a yoga teacher training program before I could talk myself out of it. Obviously, not drinking alcohol wasn’t the only reason I finally went for it but it helped. For one thing, I wouldn’t have been in the yoga class where I had the epiphany if I had wine with dinner that night. I also felt better than I had in a long time. I found the courage to follow through and I don’t believe I would have if I had been indulging in my nightly cup of comfort.
You may be wondering if I started drinking again after I completed the 100 Day Challenge. I did during the holidays and I enjoyed it but not as much as I used to. So, I decided to stop again on January 1st for six months to see what happened. I have since completed my Yoga Teacher Training Program and will begin teaching my own weekly class next month. I am also working on some other projects that I’m excited about.
Will I continue the challenge when the six months are up? I don’t know yet. It might be interesting to continue until my birthday or even go the whole year and compare it to last year. Stay tuned!
I have written many times about having insomnia and my attempts to cure it. In that spirit (no pun intended) I embarked on a month long challenge in August to see if abstaining from alcohol would improve my sleep.
I am not a big drinker but I tend to be a daily one. I would regularly have one to two glasses of wine with dinner. I didn’t really think that I drank enough for it to impact my sleep but I was wrong. I slept better than I had in years. With few exceptions, I slept through the night and if I did wake up I was able to go back to sleep fairly easily.
Improved sleep was only one of many benefits I listed when I reviewed the month. Here’s the full list:
1. My skin improved. It became more supple and silky. I think we can chalk this up mostly to increased hydration. Alcohol is a diuretic. So, I was losing less water by abstaining. Alcohol is a also toxin. So, by avoiding it, it stands to reason that the skin-the largest excreting organ in the body- would improve.
2. I lost weight. I had already lost about nine pounds this year by eliminating processed food and most oil from my diet but I lost another three after cutting out wine. I felt less snacky at night and didn’t continue to eat after dinner. (I didn’t really consume fewer calories by not drinking wine because I switched to Non-Alcoholic Beer.) Also, my digestive organs were no doubt functioning better without having to drop everything to filter out the toxicity from the wine. So, more fat was getting metabolized and less was being stored.
3. Bloating was greatly reduced. Even though I had already lost nine pounds, I still had a popped out belly from being bloated all the time. When I stopped consuming alcohol, all my pants suddenly got loose again. Hallelujah!
4. No more tummy aches. Fun fact: Alcohol wreaks havoc on your microbiome. That’s the colony of beneficial bacteria that lives in our digestive track and helps break down our food. Those little guys got to work after I started this challenge.
5. Brain fog started to dissipate. I suspect my thinking became clearer because I finally got some real, honest to goodness sleep for the first time in years.
6. I felt a little happier. I found myself laughing, singing and wiggling my butt more. (I wrote what I wrote!)
7. My energy was a bit better.
8. I became tidier. This is embarrassing but sometimes I was so tired in the evening that the dishes never made it from the sink to the dishwasher. Sometimes, I was so tired in the morning that my bed didn’t always get made.
9. I felt more grounded and peaceful than I had in a long time. While I was not drinking heavily, I was drinking regularly. So, in retrospect, it’s not surprising that alcohol was affecting my moods. It’s a depressant that I was imbibing almost daily.
10. I began to feel more aware and conscious. I wasn’t just getting through my day anymore. I felt more like I did when I was younger- less jaded and more appreciative.
11. I also look younger in my opinion. I think this a by-product of more sleep, better hydration and my organs working more efficiently. My face isn’t puffy anymore and my skin is a bit more dewy again.
12. Better sleep. I don’t know if you have ever been so tired that you feel like you could cry but I have and it’s not fun!
Given all these benefits, I was curious to see if any more could be gained by continuing this experiment. So, I decided to keep this challenge going for 100 days. I’ll let you know in November what happens. Have you ever done a Dry Month or Sober Season? Please let me know in the comments.
Have you ever heard of Dry January-where people stop drinking alcohol for the first month of the new year? Well, I’m not doing that. While I can see the advantage of giving up booze for a month to jumpstart a weight loss resolution or just take a pause after too much holiday indulgence, it’s not an area that is going to have a significant impact on my life. So, what could I give up that might? Without a doubt, for me, it’s television.
TV has been my bad habit for longer that I can remember. It’s my pacifier. It’s my entertainment. Even when it isn’t that entertaining, somehow, it’s a still a comfort. This was particularly true when I was recovering from an awful fall 10 years ago that left the middle of my face broken and my teeth badly damaged. It was the easiest, quickest (legal) escape and I definitely needed one! Unfortunately, it got me in the habit of leaving the TV for hours at a time whether I am actively watching it or not.
It turns out that I am not alone when it comes to excess TV viewing. The average American watches over 4.5 hours a day. It’s kind of funny that most of us think we don’t have enough time to get things done. In reality, we have time but we choose to spend it watching other people doing things on TV.
I’m pretty sure I am not cool with that anymore. So, I stopped watching TV on 12/31/22. So far, so good. It’s only been a few days but last night for the first time since I can remember, I slept through the whole night from 10 until about 5:30. Normally, I wake up between 1am and 3:15 am with my thoughts racing for 1-3 hours. Also, I have actually been consistently reading. I used to regularly read about two books a week. Now, that’s a habit I wouldn’t mind getting back into again.
Stay tuned- I mean, check back in February to find out how this TV-free January Challenge went. Better yet, take the challenge yourself and let me know what you discover!
– Cynthia Lenz, January 4, 2023
Just a quick post to share my mocktail recipe with you.
Tom’s a Virgin Collins Tonic
Enjoy! It is lighter on the liver and your wallet than a regular cocktail. It’s the perfect way to celebrate surviving Monday.
Tomorrow marks the beginning of the end in my dental reconstruction. I am going to the prosthodontist to get the temporaries on six of my front teeth.
I have already had two sets of temps on the two missing teeth. So, after tomorrow my eight front top teeth will never be the same. Honestly, only two of them currently are. Four of the six that are being veneered/crowned tomorrow, have been damaged since my fall on March 2, 2013. The other two, my left front tooth and left canine, are innocent bystanders but… it doesn’t make sense to do only six. I wouldn’t have a consistent smile ever again.
I was desperate to get my smile back after I fell! I couldn’t believe what happened to me. So, I did the only thing you can when faced with trauma, I moved forward one day at a time and sought the best medical help I could find. Sometimes, I had to seek it over and over again. I also cried… but not too much. It’s okay to be sad as long as you don’t get stuck. You have to move forward even if it is only a centimeter at a time. Feeling sorry for yourself gets you nowhere!
I feel very emotional right now. I have a right to- I am at a point of no return. Tomorrow, my prosthodontist will shave down my natural teeth to fit the veneers. There’s no reversing that. I know that it is time. I am putting my trust in God and my prosthodontist that in the end I will have a beautiful smile to share with everyone!
One of my favorite hobbies is crocheting. I just started about a year and a half ago and learned a lot from watching YouTube Channels. I found the Proper Pineapple pretty early on and just love watching Holly and her family. She just always seems like she’s having the best time!
Recently, I ordered a Halloween project bag from her website. The package was so cute that I decided to test the video feature on my new camera by doing an unboxing. Here it is:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jiSCvTmQZpU
Yesterday kicked my ass! It’s the only way to describe it. Yesterday was so bad that I still felt crappy and sad when I woke up this morning. I could tell you why but I think it would be more productive to chat about getting over it.
I admire people who can instantly compartmentalize hurt, anger and disappointment. I want to be one. I tell myself when life gets me down to just put it out of my mind and not let another moment get ruined. It seems simple enough but I find it so hard! I am the type of person who always ruminates about what went wrong, even when I don’t want to. I replay the frustrating or painful scene over and over in a futile attempt to make sense of it. Sometimes, I think of things that I wish I had said (or hadn’t!)
Enough! Life is too short to be miserable! I decided the best way to get back in a better frame of mine was too take care of myself. My first order of business was to get some exercise. Coincidentally, I needed to drop off my car for an inspection. Even though the weather is sort of gloomy today, it wasn’t cold or rainy. I found walking to and from the garage pleasant. Seeing Spring budding all around and listening to the birds, newly returned from their winter dwellings, was soothing for me. I find that I crave a connection with nature the most when I have been through something stressful.
When I got back, I took the dogs for a walk too. Often, I’ve read the best way to help yourself feel better is to help someone else. The dogs always seem so happy when they get a walk, it’s hard not to get caught up in their enthusiasm. My Chauncy makes the cutest noises while I am putting his leash on, as if he can’t wait another second to get out the door. It’s such a small thing but it makes a big difference in their day.
After we got back, I decided to cook myself a hot lunch. My lunches are usually cold sandwiches while running errands on my lunch hour. So, a hot meal in the middle of the day felt almost luxurious! It was also needed. I tend to not very eat well when I’m upset. So, needless to say, dinner was less than stellar last night. Some good nutrition was definitely required.
Exercise, service, contact with nature and some good food are great ways I have found to lift my mood. Here are some more: