Did You Take Your Meditation Today?

Check out my post as a guest blogger on HolisticsVoice.com:

Back in March, I fell down a large public staircase and smashed my face on the ground, breaking my nose, jaw and damaging several teeth, including the loss of my right front tooth. Many times since then, people have complimented me on how well I’ve been handling the situation; often exclaiming they would be a puddle in the corner; had it happened to them. – See more at: http://www.holisticsvoice.com/featured/did-you-take-your-meditation-today/

Letting Go: Sorting Through My STUFF

I just watched the last piece of my Nana’s cherry wood set get hauled away.  I dragged that set with me from home to home for the last fourteen years and today, I let it go to an appreciative young man who was probably furnishing his first apartment.

I moved out of my parents’ house over 19 years ago.  Hurricane Sandy brought me back here temporarily.  My dental reconstruction is keeping me here a while longer.  Deciding it was better to have funds available to pay my various dentists than for storage fees, I cleared out my POD this weekend.

I am a fiercely independent person.  I do not enjoy asking for help.  However, this situation has required that I learn how to accept it and I am definitely grateful for the help that has been extended to me by friends and family.  I’d be lying if I said I was excited about the idea of sorting through all my crap and deciding what stays and what goes.  It’s a perfect beach weekend and that is where I would rather be.

Rather than dwell on the loss of my independence (and a good beach weekend) though; I’ve decided to view this as an opportunity to let go of what I don’t need and welcome a fresh start.  While I was looking through one box, I found a baseball card album filled with Steve Sax cards.  My boyfriend in college gave it to me as a birthday present one year.  I had remarked that Steve Sax had a cute tush and he thought it would be funny to give me all his cards.  It was funny but not funny enough to keep toting around decades after we broke up; especially when I never really wanted it in the first place.

The baseball card album was one of his better gifts too.  One year he gave me a toolbox filled with tools.  I didn’t want that either.  The nicest things one of my friends at the time said about it was “tell him next year, you want a jewelry box and to fill that up too.”  The rising chorus from my friends was “dump him” and eventually I did.  So, why do I still have this little album all these years later?  Who the fuck knows… I am a sentimental person but I think this is a good time to reevaluate what I want to keep in my life and what NEEDS to go.

I also have this sense that letting go of unnecessary stuff will make room for new and better things, opportunities and experiences in my life.  I think I will do a mental overhaul while I am at it and let go of accumulated fears, pains, frustrations and insecurities… I’m sure I have a book on that in one of these damn boxes…

What do you need to let go of?  Have you had a positive experience after letting go of items you no longer needed?  I would love to hear from you!

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

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Pajama Day

This may be the word’s shortest blog post…

The reason why is because I need a pajama day.  Pajama Day is when you stay in your pajamas (and maybe even in bed) all day not because you’re sick… just spent.  I think everyone feels this way sometimes but whether they acknowledge it is a different story.

When you are a creative person (writer, artist, musician… whatever) it becomes obvious pretty quickly when you have reached this state.  The ideas may be there swirling around but the act of actually bringing them to fruition seems suddenly daunting and impossible.

Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is just stop.  Animals do this naturally.  When Chauncy and I get home from a walk, he’ll plop down right in front of the front door for as long as he needs to.  He doesn’t worry about getting anything done …or even being in the way.  He just does what he needs to do in that moment, nothing.

Next time you feel frenzied, just stop.  Give yourself permission to do nothing.  It doesn’t have to be for a whole day.  Try an hour or even five minutes… See what happens.  You may be pleasantly surprised by what happens next…

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

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justdragonfly

Naturally Beautiful: What does it mean?

This one is not so easy for me…

A week or so ago a video of Dustin Hoffmann went viral in which he described his experience of being perceived as a woman while prepping for his role in Tootsie.  It was very moving because he broke down when he realized that he couldn’t look as beautiful as he wanted to.  He realized that, as a woman, he would be passed over based on his appearance, despite being an interesting and worthwhile person in so many ways.  He realized that he, himself, had done that to many women who did not meet his physical requirements of beauty.

I found this particularly moving because I‘ve been struggling somewhat with my appearance since my top eight front teeth were damaged in March.  A friend of mine inquired about my “love life” recently, I sort of snorted and replied, “Hahahhaha, it would take a very special or very un-special man to look past my banged up grill.”

The funny part about all this is I am not a fussy gal.  Before this happened, you were just as likely to see me in sweats and no make-up, as you were to see me done up.  I’ve never been a perfect specimen but I was pretty and had learned over the years that I cleaned up well when I wanted to.  I just didn’t worry about it.  Now I do.  I am much more careful about putting myself together because I don’t feel like myself without my smile.  I wear a decent appliance that covers my missing front tooth but when I start to smile, I can feel my top lip getting close to the top edge of the device and I quickly yank it back down.  It really sucks being this self-conscious all the time.  And before I had the appliance, I did notice a difference in the way people reacted toward me.

I do know one special guy who never makes me feel self-conscious about the way I look, my dad.  A few weeks ago, he had to have a tooth pulled.  My dad is a handsome guy but he had a completely different attitude about it.  He made pirate noises and seemed to get a kick out of flashing his space at my mother.  He started referring to himself as Big Gap and me as Little Gap.  “You call that a gap, Cindy.  That’s not a gap.  This is a real gap!” He even convinced me to take this photo.  No small feat.  It is the first one since I fell.

Big Gap and Little Gap

I am not sure I can be as laid-back about my damaged teeth as Dad is, but this dental reconstruction is going to be a long haul and the final result is not guaranteed.  Soon I will have to wear braces for the first time in my life.  So, I realize it would be a good idea to figure how to handle the situation with grace and humor.  Maybe that is the most natural beauty you can acquire.  I haven’t got it all figured out yet but I am so grateful that I have Dad to light the way for me.

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

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justdragonfly

Being (a) Patient: The Long and Bumpy Road

When you have an injury or illness that requires a long plan of treatment, you’re probably going to hit the wall more than once.  At least that’s been my experience thus far.

I have been having one of those weeks where I was starting to feel like the 10 steps I went forward in May to get my smile back…well, I fell back seven.  When you have 4 doctors (or in my case dentists: a periodontist, a prosthodontist, an orthodontist and an oral surgeon,) they aren’t always going to agree on everything.  I also found out it would be a miracle if I don’t end up with any pink porcelain (which is used to simulate gum tissue when there has been bone and/or gum tissue loss.)  And some of the people who are closest to me are sick of hearing about my teeth after four plus months and think I should stop seeking out the holy grail of treatment plans and just get on with the fuckin’ work already.

Can’t really blame ‘em there.  I am sick of it too.  I would love to just get on with the treatment already but I am also terrified.  I have felt like I have been putting a puzzle together in the dark since I fell.  Whenever I think I have all the pieces together, a light flashes on just long enough to reveal that something isn’t quite right yet.

I have made progress for sure.  I managed to avoid the plates and screws that the residents at the hospital wanted to put in my jaw.  I found a great oral surgeon who set my jaw and saved the other three teeth; they wanted to pull in the hospital.  I nixed the treatment plan that would have left me an 8 tooth bridge from upper premolar to premolar, as well as, the douche-bag perio who said it was my only option.  Thankfully, I’ve found a skilled team who can deliver on keeping me in all separate teeth.

So, what’s the problem then, right?  Four millimeters is the problem… four fuckin’ millimeters of vertical bone loss above my missing central incisor (or right front tooth to you and me.)  Between my body growing it and the bone graft(s), I need to gain 4mm (and have plenty of gum tissue) in order to avoid pink porcelain.  Is pink porcelain that big a deal?  Well, when you have a high smile line or a somewhat gummy smile like I do, it’s going to show.  I keep flashing on an image of a youngish Wayne Gretzky with his pink-topped crowns.  I couldn’t figure out why his upper gum looked like it had a squiggly dark line running through it at the time.  Now, I know it was pink porcelain.

My prosthodontist is an artist and I am sure even if pink porcelain is required that I won’t look like an ice hockey-player by the time he is done but, you know, I also will do everything in my power to make sure I gain those four fucking millimeters!

What experiences have you had as a patient?  How did you overcome them?  Is there anything you wish you had done differently looking back now?

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

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justdragonfly

Competitive Eating… Really?

I was driving home from Bellport on the Fourth of July when NPR announced the winners of the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating Contest.  Joey “Jaws” Chestnut ate 69 hotdogs including buns in 10 minutes to take the men’s title.  My immediate reaction was “that’s disgusting.  How could someone do that to his body?”  The female winner, Sonya Thomas, downed 36.75 franks.  I was silently blech-ing in my head and wondering what is wrong with society.

Then the announcer said something that floored me: Sonya Thomas, aka the Black Widow, only weighs 100 pounds!  This did not jibe with my preconceived notion of what someone who would enter an eating contest would look like.  That evening, Missy Conn, who had seen the event on T.V., explained to me on Facebook that many competitive eaters “train like athletes” and “they have to be thin, so their stomachs can expand.”

Missy’s tidbit sufficiently blew my mind enough to check out the The Black Widow’s website.  In her FAQ section, she explains that she stays thin because, “These competitions and eating events occur but once or twice a month. They are the exception–not the rule. “   She also mentions that she generally eats healthfully: “lots of fruits, vegetables, rice, seafood, and chicken–not too much fried food. I sometimes enjoy sweets, but only in moderation.”  Thomas also does a two hour aerobic workout five days a week.  That explains how she stays so thin but is it still safe and healthy to stuff so much food in your body in such a short time span?

Major League Eating, the governing body that oversees these competitive eating contests, does have safety standards (or eludes to them on their website anyway):

MLE will not sanction or promote any events that do not adhere to proper safety regulations and the league believes that speed eating is only suitable for those 18 years of age or older and only in a controlled environment with appropriate rules and with an emergency medical technician present.

To me this roughly translates into them doing everything they can to make sure no one dies during a competition but does nothing to address what this rapid and mass consumption of processed food does to the human body.  After poking around a bit, I found a Huff Post article from last year in which Dr. David C. Metz, a professor of medicine in the division of gastroenterology at the Perelman School of Medicine at the University of Pennsylvania, explains that these over-eating competitors seem to have the ability to relax their stomachs, thus allowing them to expand well beyond the capacity of most humans.  They can consume roughly double what I could before having the urge to vomit.

Since most people do not have this stomach-capacity-expanding ability, it’s important that they don’t try it.  Metz is quoted in the article: “Not to mention, there are tremendous risks associated with stuffing the stomach to its capacity, even just one time — like rupturing the stomach, he says. “Make sure the public knows not to try this at home.”

While I am still disgusted that competitive eating contests exist, I have to stop short on saying that they shouldn’t.  The reason is I admire the passion these competitors have for their …um, “craft.”  The Black Widow states, “I want to be the # 1 competitive-eater in the world, period!”  That’s commitment! I love to see people pursue their dreams.  Everyone has to go with his or her own gut no pun intend- …well, okay maybe a little intended…

What are your thoughts on competitive eating?  Good clean fun or the contemporary versions of the food orgies that created the ancient vomitoriums?

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

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Exercise: Do I really need to set a freakin’ goal?

I have a strange relationship with exercise.  I love it while I am doing it and it does me a lot of good physically, mentally and emotionally but I have struggled with a self-defeating habit of trying to get out of it.

Honestly, I don’t believe it is anything deeper than the fact that the free spirit inside me never wants to live the same day twice.  I already devote 40+ hours a week to working for someone else, at least 12 hours a week commuting to work for someone else, then there is cleaning and laundry, studying… having to be disciplined about one more thing can make ya want to run off and live in the woods Thoreau-style.  Except I want to stay fit physically, mentally and emotionally.  So, I am committed now to a daily yoga practice and walking the dogs most days (you know, weather permitting.)

I have been doing pretty well and have been pleased with the results thus far.  Then while I was the yoga mat recently, I got an idea!  I have a vision board hanging above the TV. So when I need to focus on something to keep my balance while practicing, I stare at something on my board.  I saw a photo of a woman who looks a bit like me in ustrasana or full camel pose.  I put it on my board to represent flexibility in general, not just in yoga or my physical body.  I found myself thinking that it might be fun to see if I could do it before the end of the year.

It is such a beautiful pose because it corrects most people’s natural (or unnatural depending on your perspective) tendency to curl into themselves in a protective or childlike way.  I tend to slouch with rigid, rounded shoulders.  I have noticed that the tightness in my neck, back and shoulders has been turning into creaks and crackles.  I want to avoid any kind of chronic backache or arthritis and working towards this pose just might be the ticket.

So, we’ll see how it goes.  It does feel more freeing to know I am working toward something that is opening me up and healing my body, mind and spirit rather than just dogmatically going through a routine.  Maybe I will post a photo of myself in this pose before the end of the year.

How do you stay motivated to exercise?  Please leave a comment or drop me a note.  I would love to hear from you.

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

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Ready to Switch up Your Life?: An Uncaged Interview with Rebecca Tracey

Do you want to make a change, a BIG change in your life?  Are you ready for a new career, lifestyle, to start your own business or a big bold adventure?  Are you feeling too stuck or fearful to move forward with your dream?  Then read on to find out how Life Switch Coach Rebecca Tracey coaches her clients (and maybe kicks their asses a little) on how they can achieve their goals and create the life they really want.

Cynthia Lenz: So many people think that Joseph Campbell’s “Follow Your Bliss” Concept makes so much sense but so few people actually do it.  Why do you think that is?  How would you advise people to be able to?  What are your top three tips?

Rebecca Tracey: Follow your bliss is really vague advice. When I hear that I don’t even really know what it means! It sounds great conceptually, but it’s not always easy figuring out exactly what your bliss is, let alone how to follow it. So my work with people always starts with helping them get really clear about what their bliss is (though I don’t think I have ever used that word before!). What do they value? What do they believe about the world? What kind of life do they want?  So my best tips for people are 1) to get crazy clear about what’s most important to you in life, and make sure you build that into your lifestyle 2) to do it your own way, and not try to copycat anyone else’s life, and 3) to try different things out. You never know what you’ll love and what you won’t until you actually try it. I always say that “figuring it out” is not intellectual, it’s experiential. You can’t just sit at home and think about what you might like to be doing. You actually have to get out there and try it out, with no pressure, and see how it goes. Then tweak and change as you go.

Cynthia Lenz: I love tip #2 “to do it your own way, and not try to copycat anyone else’s life.”  Often, I think people get frustrated because they follow all the steps someone else laid out but it doesn’t work for them because it’s not authentic to whom they are.  Do you find a lot of people struggle with feeling it is okay to just be themselves?  And once they accept and enjoy themselves for who they are that life begins to open up for them?

Rebecca Tracey: Yes!! It’s so common. We’re all human. I have even struggled with this myself in my business. I wrote a really important post about this. (Click here to read Rebecca’s post.) I find that when you really let yourself be exactly who you are, quirks and weirdness and all, you show up as a leader. All those things that make you who you are; are what people admire about you. So it’s really a shame to hide or change them. They are also really good clues about what you are meant to do in the world. When you can tap into your strengths and natural abilities, you can start to do your work YOUR way, instead of always having to try to change to fit your work.

Cynthia Lenz: I love the way you communicate while unapologetically dropping F-bombs and incorporating slang expressions.  You manage to strike a nice balance, where other people sometimes come across as unprofessional or less knowledgeable when using similar language, you still sound clear and intelligent.  Were you ever hesitant about being so bold or fearful about being taken seriously with a more casual, in-your-face style?

Rebecca Tracey: I don’t think I ever really thought about it. I was very conscious of not wanting to fall into the typical “life coach” trap of using language that feels airy fairy, and quite frankly, too vague for people to actually understand. So I decide to just write the way that I talk. Sometimes when I’m feeling really passionate about something, I swear more. When I’m feeling really grounded and grateful, I can be a bit more serious. I have a lot of different facets to my personality, and I knew right away that I wasn’t willing to compromise on any of them. And I was never really worried about sounding “professional” because I knew that the people who would resonate with me, would resonate with ME, and that if I tried to be something I wasn’t, they’d be sorely disappointed if they actually hired me. Now my ideal clients come to me, and they come with a really good sense of what I’m all about because it’s right there on my site. Nothing to hide. It’s probably the best way to attract clients that I know of!

Cynthia Lenz: Life-switch Coach is such a great title.  “Life Coach” sounds very broad but Life-switch coach implies imminent action.  Where did you get the idea from?  Did you coin the term?  If so, was there a moment that inspired it?

Rebecca Tracey: I think my very first copywriter actually came up with the title, and it kind of stuck! At the end of the day, I’m all about helping people switch up their lives for more exciting ones. Getting people out of ruts and into lives, they love, is what I’ve always cared most about, and that title just sounded way cooler than “life coach”!

Cynthia Lenz: Is there something that all your clients have in common beyond wanting to make a change? Maybe a common trait or experience…feeling?

Rebecca Tracey: Yep. My clients all want to start business, work for themselves, and be their own boss. They’re sick of the 9-5, they dream of travel and adventure and time with their families and random Tuesdays off. My clients are total freedom seekers. But they’re also super committed to making this kind of lifestyle happen. They understand that it’s a lot of work and it’s not all as glamorous as it seems, and they are willing to do what it takes to create it for themselves. That’s actually what sets them apart from most people. They are willing to do the work.

Cynthia Lenz: Would you give me an idea of what your life was like prior to being a Life-switch Coach?

Rebecca Tracey: My life was, in a word, fun. (And it’s still fun, I might add!). I was always a bit of a rebel and I hated the idea of working for someone else, so I managed to find ways to avoid work as much as possible. I traveled for several years straight after University, working odd jobs as I went. I’d often come home for just long enough to bank some cash, then I’d take off again on my next big adventure. I managed to live this life pretty easily, and even pay off $25000 of school debt in the process. I kept hearing from people how “lucky” I was, and I always responded with “This isn’t luck. I chose this. I made this happen!” I eventually figured I’d have to get a real job at some point, and ended up in nutrition school (thinking I could start my own nutrition business). What I realized very quickly was that what I was really passionate about was helping people make a choice about how they wanted to live, how they wanted to feel. So I left the fine tooth meal combing to someone else, and I started my coaching business. My business now is a really sweet mix of all my strengths and skills and experience and values – and it’s all centered around what I really believe about life – that it can be whatever you make it.

Cynthia Lenz: Do you have a client success story you could share where you got to celebrate a client reaching a goal that seemed impossible to him/her at one point?

Rebecca Tracey: I have one client who mentioned in passing on our first call that he wanted to write a book. It was one of his secret childhood dreams. It had nothing to do with what he was coming to coaching for. When he talked about writing I could tell how excited it made him. On our first call we talked about what it would be like to finally start writing, and he decided he would start that night. Within a few weeks he had written his first short story, and now, less than a year later, he has finished two novels and is looking into getting something published. It’s been so cool to see him really do something that makes him come alive, and to also see how much he has learned about himself in the process. My job is so fun!

Cynthia Lenz: Do you have any plans for an “Uncaged Life” Book?

Rebecca Tracey: You know, you’re the 4th person to mention a book in the past few weeks. I think the universe is trying to give me a hint. I’d love to hear what people would want to read about! It’s on the long list of to-do’s, but nothing in the works just yet.

Cynthia Lenz: Since my blog is all about being healthy and happy in a natural way, would you share what role nature plays in your life?

Rebecca Tracey: Oh wow. Well since I spent the majority of last year living in a van and rock climbing my way around the US, I’d say nature plays a pretty big role. I never thought of myself as an outdoorsy person (or a sporty person for that matter). But about 5 years ago my life shifted dramatically when my mom died suddenly. It sent me on the search for something, some kind of self-healing maybe?  I found my way to nutrition school. Long story short, I started taking really good care of myself: eating well, doing a lot of yoga, I stopped partying, started really making choices that made me feel good. Part of that included really dedicating myself to rock climbing. I fell in love with it, and it kind of took over my life (in a good way!). I now try to get outside as much as I can, whether it’s riding my bike around Toronto (which is an adventure all its own), slack-lining in my local park, or climbing up north of the city on the weekends. It’s so important for me to be able to get outside!

Rebecca Rock

Ready for more Rebecca Tracey?  Check out her website www.theuncaged life.com.  She has a lot more tips posted and a free downloadable workbook to help you get started on creating the life you have been dreaming about.

Love and blessings to all,

Cynthia

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Failure or Fuel for Growth: Seeing The Forest Through The Trees

While I was walking at the park near where I live, I stopped to meditate on the scene in front of me.  The spot I was staring at still had a lot of trees that had fallen or broken during Hurricane Sandy.  Workers had cleared the paths but left large limbs and trunks just wherever they fell.  So nature would take care of them, in the places where you are not encouraged to walk.

I thought about these trees for a while.  Some of them had grown tall before the storm had taken them down.  Many had probably been quite majestic.  Yet for one reason or another, they could not withstand the wind, maybe their roots were too weak or another tree fell on top of them.  At first glance, it appears like such a tragedy…such waste.  The funny thing is though Nature never wastes anything.

fallen tree1

These fallen trees are still alive with potential.  They are now home to various wildlife, who will shelter in them, until they are too decayed to provide a home anymore.  Moment by moment, the earth is reclaiming her precious leafy babies as fuel to grow new more glorious descendants of themselves

That’s when it struck me that in nature, there is no such thing as failure.  Everything gets recycled to rise again.  It got me thinking about my own failures in life.  Maybe my mistakes could provide fuel for future growth too.  As a human, it can be hard to face up to the embarrassing defeats we have had.   Forget a few fallen trees; at times my life has looked like a fuckin’ California wildfire whipped through it… At least, I tried though.  While sometimes, it may not seem like much.  In reality, it’s everything because you can’t get anywhere if you never make an attempt.  Making mistakes is how you learn what not to do again.  (Of course, sometimes you make them more than once before you learn that lesson…. but that’s a WHOLE other blog post…)  Thomas Edison probably understood this better than anyone. He has been quoted as having said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

Why are we so afraid of failing anyway?  Is it really so important to get everything right all the time?  I mean really, think of all the times you failed… chances are that no one died; no great fury was released on the world… maybe it was sad or a little embarrassing (maybe very sad and very embarrassing) but that was probably about it, right?  We sometimes crave approval and acceptance so much that we are afraid to fail.  It seems like someone must be keeping score.  Who wants to come up short or be criticized?  Not me.  I totally get it but as Aristotle said, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, and be nothing.”

Love and Blessings to all,

Cynthia

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Back on The Mat: Inspiration for everyone!

I have a confession to make: as much as I love yoga and have gained many benefits from it over the years, my practice has been well…spotty.  Some months I have practiced every day; other years I have averaged once a month.  I’ve always been perplexed by my own faltering commitment, given how much better my life works when I do it.

Instead of devoting any more time to figure it out, back in January I decided to just have a daily practice again.  Then one day when I was tired and busy, I wanted to skip.  Like magic Arthur Boorman showed up in my life to inspire me.  You can bet after I watched this video, I got my ass on that mat:

Click here to watch Arthur’s video right now! You will be inspired!

I practiced every day after that until I fell.  I found I really missed yoga during my convalescence. I found myself thinking about Arthur Boorman and what he had achieved quite often.  I realized that if he could accomplish what he has, then I would not allow my injuries to become future excuses to avoid a daily practice.  So, I am pleased to report that I am now back on the mat again every day and it feels great!

Jack Canfield, mentioned in a lecture I was listening to earlier this week that, “it takes about 30 days of intensive focus to move a new habit or belief into your life.”  Similarly, (…and on the same day…freaky!) I saw another youtube video that Diamond Dallas Page put up, featuring a man named Slim.

Click here to watch Slim’s Video

Slim and his wife Laura started a website called http://www.thenextfortydays.com to share Slim’s experience. They explain their idea like this:

“The Next Forty Days is an idea. It is a notion that everyone can take a step, however small, to make life just a little bit better. The process is simple – define a goal, make a sacrifice, stay encouraged and enjoy a victory.  This is an opportunity for you to do something you’ve always said you would. It’s a chance to start making better food decisions. Maybe it’s finally time to quit smoking. Even in reading these words, something may have already come into your mind. Whatever the goal, The Next Forty Days will help you get there.  Is there any better time than right now? A year from now, you’ll wish you’d started today. The Next Forty Days is the beginning of the rest of your life. So decide a goal, take the pledge and make life better!”

I hope you have found Arthur’s and Slim’s stories to be as inspirational as I have.  Would you like to transform your life?  What habit or belief are you ready to establish?  Can you commit to practice it for the next 30 to 40 days to make it happen?  I would love to hear from you!

Love and Blessings to all,

Cynthia

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