My dream finally came true last year! I became a yoga teacher. It took over two decades and very nearly stayed a dream forever.
I was not much of an athlete growing up. Other than running very fast for very short distances, I was rubbish at sports. I was always the last kid left when teams were picked in gym class. And I had two left feet on the dance floor. Despite what I thought was an obvious lack of coordination, I’ve always been drawn to yoga. So, in 2001, I began to learn this beautiful ancient practice, first starting with VHS tapes then working my way up to live classes. I loved it and I could do it… and I loved that I could do it! I also loved that the benefits of yoga went way beyond just physical exercise. Yoga is deeply healing and slowly wounds that I carried inside for years began to get better.
I knew I wanted to teach yoga but I figured that if it was meant to be that I would be invited to enroll into a Yoga Teacher Training program. I longed for one of my teachers to say, “Cynthia, have you thought about teaching yoga? You really should consider it.” That never happened. I just figured I wasn’t charismatic enough. I didn’t have what it takes.
20+ years went by. I continued to practice yoga while working at jobs that left me miserable, frustrated and unsure of what my real purpose in life was. Then one day while I was at a yoga class, lying on my belly in Cobra Pose, awaiting the teacher’s next cue, I thought, “I want to do this! Why can’t I teach? I can do this! I am going to do this!” The very next day I enrolled in a Yoga Teacher Training Program before I could talk myself out of it. I still didn’t know if I had what it took but I was determined to find out!
Throughout the training, I continued to doubt myself. When it was my turn to teach a posture, I would sometimes freeze and my mind would go blank even though I practiced the pose hundreds of times before. I found myself wishing the floor would open and swallow me whole. My anxiety got so bad three quarters of the way through the training that I emailed one of my favorite teachers and explained that I was struggling. I knew I would I would finish the program but I feared I still wouldn’t be hire-able as teacher. She wrote me back quickly that she knew I was going to be a great yoga teacher and asked me to teach a portion of her own class that weekend. When someone you respect believes in you, it can make it easier to start believing in yourself. Within two days, I went from being convinced that I didn’t have what it takes to be a yoga teacher to teaching a class with 50 people in it.
That was the turning point for me. I knew after that, I could do it and I haven’t looked back since. I graduated from the program and have since earned additional certifications. I now teach multiple classes. I love holding space for people while they learn how to build their practice. And I love seeing them experience yoga’s benefits for the body, mind and spirit.
What’s your dream? Are you waiting for someone else’s blessing before you act on it? I got that backwards for a very long time. You need to take action first then the blessings will follow. Namaste!
