Almost always, after a personal trauma or crisis, the big question is, “Why did this happen to me?” … Why now… why me? I experienced a double whammy of this after I fell on March 2nd.
Falling down a flight of stairs and being injured like I was seemed so unfair; I had just begun to feel like I was getting my act together after Hurricane Sandy and now this… why? I realized though I already knew why. It’s pretty simple. It happened because I was careless and there are no mulligans in situations like this one. What I really wanted to know was how to turn back time and get to do it again but hold the handrail this time. Not gonna happen, Cynthia.
The better question is “What can I learn from this?” Another is “how do I become better for having had this experience?”
One of the best ways I have discovered since Hurricane Sandy to stop feeling sorry for myself is to start counting blessings. What are my blessings? 1. I am alive. Several people have shared stories with me of people who had an accident similar to mine but didn’t fare nearly as well. 2. I am grateful for what is working well: my brain, internal organs and spine are fine. I can walk and breathe. 3. I am thankful for the support that I have: My parents have been helping me in so many different ways since this happened: food, shelter, care, making phone calls, talking me for me, scheduling and driving me to doctor appointments. My friends and relatives have been texting me to check in because they know my jaw is wired shut and I can’t talk. My dog Chauncy has only really left my side to eat (and to tussle with my folks’ bichon Lucy) since I have been home from the hospital. 4. I found a good doctor who has begun putting my mouth back together. 5. Percocet (I normally avoid pharmaceuticals but this situation has proven exceptional.) 6. The bruises are fading. 7. The swelling is going down. I am fortunate in that I can go on and on.
Since I have begun this shift from self-pity to gratitude, I have noticed that I feel better. I have a road ahead of me to recover from this accident but starting out on the right foot seems to make a really big difference. If whatever, you focus on tends to expand then I choose to focus on being positive and believing in my body’s innate ability to heal.
Another opportunity I have here is to learn how to help my body heal itself. Did you know that sea veggies and foods containing pectin are effective at helping the body rid itself of radiation? Apples do extra duty in my case because they are also rich in malic acid, a natural pain reliever. I know I will learn even more about how proper nutrition will aid my recovery.
Lastly, I don’t have the chance for a do-over or un-fall but I can recognize that I need to be more mindful and be present in each moment. Before this happened, I remember feeling like I never quite had enough time to do everything I needed or wanted to do. When Hurricane Sandy hit, I realized that present moment is all we have. This fall has reminded me of that in a way I can never forget.
Love and Blessings to all,
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